On 8th August, I crossed off one of my biggest milestone off my bucket list. I appeared in National television and gave a 12 minutes of interview regarding my talents in speaking in fluent Mandarin & singing in multiple languages.
Coming from a family like mine, this was a massive achievement for the 4 of us- especially my dad. He was proud of me, he liked my shirt and he adored the way I spoke. It was a joyous occasion to us, however the happiness was short lived.
On the 9th August, we had to admit my dad due to lung infection. He could not breathe. He was placed in a normal ward, 3 days after, he was transferred to ICU.
We thought it was a minor problem, but the moment he was transferred to ICU, I got so worried. Everyday, mom and I will arrive at the hospital at 11am & will only leave around 8pm. This routine lasted for 3 weeks. Every now and then, my father would show improvement and sometimes not.
On 26 August, he was transferred from ICU to normal ward, mom and I let out a big sigh as a relieve. My dad could respond and every time I ask him questions, his hand gestures meant everything to me. I genuinely believed he was getting better.
My father passed away on 29th August 2016, at 4:40am. It was also my birthday. My whole world came crashing down. It is now filled with darkness.
While I was in the hospital, waiting to visit my dad, I could not read at all because of nervousness. But, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini was an exception.
The Kite Runner is the kind of book that is impossible to put down. It has totally changed my view on Afghanistan. This book speaks profoundly about the beautiful friendship between Hassan & Amir but what I loved about the book is how Amir constantly fought to get the attention of his Baba. Their complicated relationship doesn’t reflect the easy going father daughter relationship between my father and I. However, I could very much relate and why Amir made certain decisions to get the attention of his Father. It was relatable also because the kind of state of mind I had throughout the reading.
I managed to finish the book 2 days after my dad’s passing. Reading this beautiful book was a meaningful and a painful experience for me. I don’t think I can ever forget it.
My dad is a wonderful and a sweet man. No one can say otherwise. He has guide me and show me so many different perspectives of life. It’s tough to imagine him leaving especially on my birthday. People ask me to be strong, “Be strong at least for your mother” they said. How can I be strong when I feel so so vulnerable? How?